For those who know me only in passing—maybe from a group setting—I might come across as quiet. Maybe a little reserved. Sometimes, even out of place.
But catch me in my element—in a one-on-one conversation or in the middle of my work at All Nation Restoration, my company based in Austin—and you’ll quickly find that I’m anything but passive. I don’t shy away from taking charge of a conversation. I know how to dominate a room when I feel I need to.
But here’s something that makes me… well, uniquely annoying at times:
I’ve never really had to follow anyone else’s rules.
Let me explain.
I grew up in a highly controlled religious environment, but I didn’t stay long enough for it to fully mold me. I left at 14. I never attended formal school—never raised my hand for permission to speak, never lined up for lunch, never waited my turn for the slide. My home life? Chaotic at best. I was one of seven kids, somewhere in the middle—forgotten in the noise.
When I entered the working world, it was at a company so dysfunctional, it bordered on satire. The owner showed up when he felt like it—and so did we. Drugs, alcohol, unhinged rants about billing insurance companies, broken-down vans, unprovoked lectures… it was the Wild West in khakis.
Eventually, that company collapsed under its own weight, and I walked away from the wreckage to start my own business. All Nation Restoration was born not just out of ambition, but out of sheer necessity: I had to build structure where none had ever existed before.
Here’s what I’ve learned the hard way after nearly 16 years of being my own boss, of operating in a system where I am the authority:
Just because you can talk, doesn’t mean you should.
When you run your own business, you’re often the loudest voice in the room—by design. That confidence can get you far. It can close deals, lead teams, make decisions, and rally people. But in conflict, in negotiation, in moments where resolution is the real goal?
That same dominant voice can work against you.
This is the lesson: Sometimes silence is strategy.
In my early years, I would enter disputes or negotiations like a battering ram—intent on getting my point across, convinced that being “right” was the only outcome that mattered.
But over time, through trial and a lot of error, I’ve learned the discipline of restraint:
It’s not always easy for someone like me, someone whose life has been entirely self-directed. But when I’ve managed to get this right, I’ve seen better results—more agreements reached, less fallout, and fewer bridges burned.
Let me be clear: this isn’t about backing down.
It’s not about giving up your values or tolerating disrespect.
It’s about choosing your words—and your moments—with precision.
There is a time to lead the room, to speak with force and clarity. But there is also a time to pause, to listen, and to let silence do the heavy lifting.
And if you’re the kind of person, like me, who’s lived your whole life as your own boss—no one holding your leash, no one keeping your schedule—then learning this skill will change the way you lead, negotiate, and grow.
If you’re someone who’s had to make up your own rules just to survive, this is for you.
Don’t confuse control with strength.
Don’t let pride cost you peace.
And don’t underestimate the power of shutting up and listening.
Stay strong. Stay focused. Stay in business.
