Over the last 15+ years of building All Nation Restoration of Austin, I’ve had the rare privilege of working alongside my longest-standing employee—and longtime friend—Chris. He’s been with me since the beginning, and he’s one of the few people who has consistently served as a sounding board for my thoughts, ideas, and decisions.
Running a company means facing an endless stream of decisions—some of them small, some of them massive. And every one of them carries weight: on the direction of your business, the culture of your team, your reputation in the marketplace, and your long-term profitability.
In those early years, I regularly turned to Chris to bounce ideas around. Whether it was a new strategy, a big purchase, or a shift in operations, I’d lay it all out—passionately, energetically, and in great detail—and then ask:
“So… what do you think?”
But instead of excitement, I often got hesitation. Pushback. Concern. Chris would ask tough questions. Poke holes in my logic. Play devil’s advocate. And over time, that started to frustrate me deeply. Sometimes even to the point of anger.
There were moments when I walked into those conversations buzzing with motivation—and walked out feeling deflated. I began to wonder:
After one particularly heated conversation, I stepped back and really examined what was happening. And the answer hit me hard.
Here’s what I realized:
I wasn’t really asking Chris what he thought. I was asking him—in a subtle, indirect way—to share in the responsibility.
Without even realizing it, I was laying a trap. Not out of malice, but out of uncertainty.
Instead of saying:
“I’ve made a decision as the owner. Will you help me if it goes sideways?”
…I was saying:
“What do you think? Is this a good idea?”
And in that phrasing, what I was really asking was:
“Are you willing to endorse this? Will you stand behind it with me?”
But that wasn’t Chris’s role. The responsibility was mine—and mine alone. Asking him to co-sign my decision, even indirectly, created tension because he wasn’t the one accountable if it failed.
Once I saw this clearly, I made a change.
Now, when I come to Chris—or anyone else in a leadership position—I don’t ask for their blessing. I take ownership. I say:
“I’ve made a decision. If I’m wrong, will you help me clean it up?”
That small shift changed everything.
The energy in the conversation flipped.
Chris no longer felt backed into a corner.
He felt invited, not obligated.
And I felt like a better leader—more clear, more confident, and more fair.
If you’re a business owner or leader, here’s something to think about:
When you ask someone under you—especially someone close to you—to weigh in on a big decision, be honest about what you’re really asking.
Are you looking for their insight?
Or are you looking for shared liability?
If it’s your call to make, make it.
And if there’s a chance you’ll need help fixing it, ask for their support—not their endorsement.
You’ll be amazed at how much more willing people are to help clean up a mess they didn’t feel forced into creating.
Stay strong. Stay focused. Stay in business.
